As If We Tried It

 

A little over 5 years ago the statement “Sell Yourself” couldn’t be more true.

Liz was 29, changed jobs, a fierce go-getter, was in love, dreaming of financial freedom and hopeful to make an impact.

Syd was 33, had a job working 65+ hours a week, a baby, community involvement and was hopeful no one would know of her marriage issues.

Liz was selling herself for growth and security.

Syd was selling the idea she could do anything and her life was healthy.

And so our love for each other happened, quite immediately, as we shared an office space - ironically - back to back.  

Up top: you might get confused with these posts that we co-create as it may seem that we are, in fact, lovers.  The admiration and adoration runs deep, yes.  Unfortunately we are not romantic life partners, but we are life partners.

Fairly quickly we found ourselves confiding in one another but still maintained a distance between professional and personal lives in discussion.  Ya know - that surface kind of “get to know you”.

Many times Syd imagined Liz’s life, so curious to turn back time (yes, yes that was a Cher vibe you picked up on… and is a frequent song Syd sings to Liz) in her own life, not being 30 yet, not being married, not having a child, not knowing the amount of life that work will consume. Hearing her be so hopeful for a romantic proposal, to begin an all-inclusive life with a husband and animals and babies and, ya know, Life.  Syd used all her power to not say “don’t, don’t wait and hope and wish and hang your hat on those dreams, they have no weight - they won’t be what you are searching in your heart.”  Syd didn’t.  Her smile stayed on and questions were never pushed out because each life is so different.  And secretively (and for many years to come) Syd loved love.  Syd was a champion for epic, ride or die, love.

Liz idolized the care and attention that Syd gave everything she did and couldn’t understand how she managed to do all of the things (literally ALL OF THE THINGS) while still looking put together every morning. Liz had to set 6 alarms just to get out of bed every morning and couldn’t keep a plant alive -- unfortunately the 6 alarms are still a thing, but Liz wakes up in a bedroom that currently has two plants thriving. Liz wanted what Syd had - a marriage, a child, a home, talents, passions and hobbies outside of work - she wanted recognition of the hard work ‘paying off’ (as her parents would say). She was career oriented and deeply in love but felt like life couldn’t only be defined by those two things. It was as if everything was moving in slow motion ever since she allowed herself to want those permanent ‘life’ things that Syd and others were, seemingly, conquering daily. Commitment wasn’t something she ever got comfortable with growing up, but now, felt an urgency. It was like a light switch had been turned on and there was no way of turning it off. She was ready to live life.   

Soon life began to unfold and our professional lives became a safe haven for the personal (to us) catastrophes poking up.  Since we literally had each other's backs, the moments came fluidly in actualizing the separation and divorce process in Syd’s life and the untimely death of a brother in Liz’s life.  And so the lean-to structure was built between us with tears being shed without turning in our chairs. We would quietly look ahead as if we were diligently working while talking through the pain of our personal struggles. The feeling of support and empathy each of us had in our ‘moments’ was palpable and connected us deeply.

Over the past 5+ years we have shared a steady stream of consciousness where the hilarious, heart break, anger and humble all converge. 

We have uncovered a stronger understanding of our independent selves through these years, and most importantly in the last year (2020 - thanks pandemic… no really, thank you!).  Thus what started the (albiet pushy) engagement to start a place where these stories live - Enter Non-Permanent Life.  You might ask, “what does that title have anything to do with anything”.  It’s the knowing that reality is always changing.  That life will never be groundhogs day (although 2020 challenged that).  That you will hurt in some hellish pain but that won’t continue… if you don’t want to believe us listen to Gary Allan - Every Storm.  You will also hit some radical highs that just get you a taste of breathing some chest clearing air. Like good C.S. Lewis has taught us, "Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different.” A real knee slapper!

What is it “they” always say… “you’re not the only one!”

Our hope in these posts isn’t to do anything but to share our stories as a testament of our friendship and, maybe, with the slight chance that it will arrive across someone’s social feed or google search and they’ll say what “they” say -- “I’m not the only one!”. Whether it be “how have I lived 30 years without knowing how to paint a ceiling” or “am I the only one that doesn’t know how to date in this decade” (not a joke - those may be topic’s in the future).  All kidding aside, we all feel less burdened when we relate to a story, article, picture, painting, space, music, or TedTalk - something in us relaxes for a moment and with that comes power.  We hope to be a spark, if nothing else. A prompt to release your mind of whatever might be consuming you.

We welcome ideas, questions, and remedies.  We also want to create a space for story and sharing.  There are a trillion-plus outlets out there to share and create, so the gratitude we feel towards you in finding us, is immense! (We also feel pretty proud of ourselves in kicking this off)

You can look forward to independent posts and co-created posts, conversation type entries and journal dialogue.  This will not be a chronological order of life, but more so a reference of situations and the journey with them (most of which we are still clawing our way through).  Again, we are not experts in life - we barely know how to survive our own.  Anything posted is our perspective and never meant as the only type of issue or only option of managing the topic.

We hope to inspire you to look at your friendships as if they are love’s in your life, as if they are kindred spirits and as if you tried to make it happen so naturally. This is what we were so fortunate to realize in each other and it has truly changed our lives.

OH...And most of all, be kind to yourself.

virtual chest bump -